By Alejandra Veder
When we hold on to anger, resentment, or pain from the past, we prevent ourselves from fully experiencing all the potential of the present. Consider someone that you are holding a grudge against because of a negative experience, someone that caused you pain. A great thing to do is to just forgive them and thank them for all the good things theyíve given you, the lessons you learned from them. Just let go – holding onto anger will only hurt one side ñ YOU.
Oftentimes we experience terrible things, but with time and understanding, we carry on. It is hard to let go. I had a terrible experience with an abusive father. I suffered a lot, and I used to be very angry at him, because I did not deserve it. But I came to realize that that experience shaped me into the person I am today ñ Alejandra, this girl that has now written a book and is passionate about helping people flourish and reach their maximum potential. I understood that if I blame him, I have to also blame him for the good that came out of me. And after all those years of pain, I understood that he lacked knowledge and wasnít very good at communication; he had a very bad temper, and he thought the way he behaved was best for me, even though it was far from what I really needed ñ love, support, and trust. Often when experience terrible things, we think that itís not be fair ñ but guess what? Itís done and itís in the past. I recently understood that itís not what happens to you that makes you who you are ñ itís the meaning you attach to it. Again, the meaning is your decision, my decision, so instead of being a VICTIM you can choose to be a student, learn from the situation, and grow.
There is a saying that says God never gives you what you cannot handle ñ even if it takes away your last drop of faith, somehow time passes and we get up again, carrying open wounds, healing slowly as life goes by. The lesson from the experience will always help you. PLEASE donít let THE EXPERIENCE make you miserable, sad, angry, and depressed; the lesson is that youíll become wiser, stronger, and smarter. There is always something you can improve and use after a tough one, and remember ñ life will put you in difficult situations to help you grow!!! Many times in the past, I thought I had something figured out!!! And guess what? I realized I did not, and I had similar experiences over and over again. Itís like an onion ñ it has many layers, but itís still the same onion. There are many patterns to watch out for in similar situations, and Iíve learned to observe and try new approaches. Iíve become exited, and I have so many opportunities to make new choices, but I keep on learning. Make sure while youíre in the learning process that you give a gift to yourself and find freedom, and allow yourself to make mistakes and fail ñ there is nothing wrong with failing, in fact, everybody fails!!!
That ís how experience starts, so try something, do it, and retry again. For me, failure equals experience! We all come into the world like a blank diary, we write our lives as we go on, but we canít erase and rewrite. We still try and make corrections, but even then, the marks will still be there. They are just signs to let us know that this has to be changed ñ and that is how we learn. The best thing you can do is let your life be and set yourself free from the past, give love and exist in peace with yourself. You deserve some peace of mind; humans are so hard on themselves, always demanding perfection. Go ahead and set these sad things away, let them fly so you can give yourself other, new opportunities to grow again, because now, thanks to those experiences, you have a thing called experience.